My dad died yesterday. There is something very solidly final about the death of a parent and I didn’t expect it. Because my relationship with my father was complicated, I’m even more surprised by the depth of my grief. I thought initially that it was sympathy for the rest of my family, but it’s not. It’s mine.

I’m not my father’s daughter biologically. My “real” father stepped out of my life when I was seven so I only knew one dad for…